Ten Things Not To Ask Your Husband While Having Sex
And Other Pearls Of Wisdom From A Savvy Wife
#10 Did you take the dog out?
This will only remind him he has to pee and then you will have to start all over again.
#9 Did you shave?
Don't remind him that he has a weapon, he will only use it on your sensitive areas.
#8 Did you remember I have an appointment at one-thirty?
It is now one-fifteen - he might think you are trying to hurry things.
#7 Did you hear that George Clooney is on the "Sexiest Man Alive" list?
Never bring up other men, atractive or other-wise, this only eggs them on to weird and un-attainable heights/feats.
#6 Did you lock the cats out of the bedroom?
Same thing as number one, but his butt is a moving target, and you know how cats love moving things...not to mention dangly things - he will have to stop, check door, look for cats (remember there are four), and then you will have to start all over again.
#5 Are you sure the kids are taking their naps?
Same thing as number one and six - only - this would be embarrassing, and maybe scar your kiddies for life, and I don't know if he would ever be able to have sex with you again, since it would be your fault that you didn't remind him to lock the door before sex was started.
#4 Did you remember to pay the electric bill?
never ask about bills while having sex, it will drain the blood from...well...you know where, rushing it to his brain, causing who knows what kind of havoc - maybe the end of the world - guys don't like to have their routine messed up.
#3 Would you like to have another baby?
Surefire way to bring up non-sexy thoughts; poop, vomit...you get the idea.
#2 Do you love me?
Never - ever - ask him if he loves you while having sex! This just brings back memories of when he was in the back seat of a car with who knows who? You don't want him to go down that road in his mind.
#1 Did you see the back-end of the car?
No! No! No! Haven't you learned anything yet? This is even worse than number four!
Good job, cracked me up.