25 Ways to Know That Your Date Has Been a Disaster |
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by Steven West, Apr 4, 2008 |
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This is a list of ways to to tell you that your date is going very badly. |
- Your date calls you sweet cakes and butterballs
- Your date wears his clothes from his job as a mechanic
- Your date picks her teeth with her nail file
- Your date sings to you in falsetto
- Your date attempts to kiss you after eating garlic toast and onion soup
- Your date gives you a ring from a Cracker Jack box
- Your date names the capitols of all fifty states
- Your date has the cheapest and nastiest perfume that you've ever smelled
- Your date puts his finger in his ear and pulls out a chunk of earwax to show you
- Your date gargles down a glass of expensive wine
- Your date tells you the ending of the movie the moment you walk in the theater
- Your date starts to smell your armpits
- Your date starts to dust off your shoes
- Your date takes out his electric shaver and shaves during the middle of your meal
- Your date runs a comb in his hair and shows you all his dandruff
- Your date starts to pick at her pimples while watching a Broadway play
- Your date wiggles his ears and tells very bad puns
- Your date starts to itch all over and tells you that he has an enormous rash
- Your date sucks his thumb and throws a tantrum when his soup comes out cold
- Your date whispers to you that he has a sexual disease but that it is under control
- Your date gives you flowers that show definite signs of dying
- Your date burps and belches at Carnegie Hall
- Your date tells you that he believes a woman's place is in the home
- Your date yawns constantly during your conversations and asks to be taken home by 7:30
- Your date explains to you that he is secretly an alien from outer space. He further goes on to tell you that he a direct cousin to Darth Vader.
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