Hormones

Anyone who's had the joy of being in close proximity with a pubescent girl for an extended period of time can attest to the power of hormones. They are powerful and dangerous things, and all too often adults fall prey to skepticism or forgetfulness when regarding the ability of the all-powerful hormones to control not only a human being, but much of the world around them as well. We confuse the ebbing of our own hormones with the ability to manage, or as is more often the case, simply obey them.

Puberty is like a training period, a hormonal boot camp if you will, not unlike breaking a horse, or house training a puppy. You crack the whip or smack the puppy until they do what you want. In the same fashion, hormones make us miserable until we steer the body in the right direction. Perhaps once fully trained, the dog will later reminisce, "Oh, I remember when that human was mean, but they grew out of it."

When hormones first hit, they just need to kick us a round a little bit to show is who's boss. A little depression here, some anger there, layer in some passion, and top it all off with a heavy dose of fatigue. Spend a couple of years learning to feed each need just right and things calm down to a manageable level. Congratulations, that human is on the right track, pursuing companionship, entertainment, and sleep.

Now any textbook will tell you that as I prepare to cross the threshold from 29 to 30, I'm at a hormonal peak. And these hormones will not be ignored. I might not have noticed them at all if I didn't insist on going against nature in how I live my life, but alas my mind and my body do seem to be at odds. What is frustrating, is that my body is getting much more insistent, and taking every opportunity to change my mind whenever it's vigilant watch lags. I am single, I like being single, I have no immediate desire to relinquish my status of single. I do not have time for a relationship, and I can't afford more children. Why then do I immediately body scan every human male I encounter for sexual/marital/parental potential. And this is truly unconscious, and if you saw some of the selections I've scanned, somewhat unpleasant. I truly believe that my hormones are mad that I'm not doing what they want (ie. settling down and doing my part to keep the world populated) and are gearing up for a full on guerrilla war with my mind, stealing every stray thought and turning it to something involving procreation. I'm curious, if I continued to fight, would it last all the way through menopause? Or would it tone down once I passed prime baby making age? Is decade long second puberty my penance for not achieving career, house, husband?

The silver lining here is, hopefully, this will give me a better understanding and appreciation for what my 13 year old daughter is going through. Then again, expecting patience and understanding from two hormone-riddled females living together may be an exercise in futility comparable to keeping constant watch on the Papal sphincter in hopes of a first glimpse of porcine aviators.