She has been acting strange almost scary. You have jokingly told family and friends, she is crazy, but you know her behavior is really no laughing matter. You question whether you want to continue a relationship with her, but you don't want to have to deal with the hell she will most likely cause if you two should break up. So what do you do? You seek the help you need, even if it means filing for a restraining order at the local police station, and get out of the relationship if any or all of the following signs you have witnessed.
Don't be deceived, there are women in this world who can be just as violent as men; however, when statistics of domestic violence occurring by women to men aren't high and men aren't calling the police, abusive women are overlooked.
When women become abusive they are usually described as crazy or mental, but abusive is not usually a word that is associated with their behavior. A man who feels that his girlfriend may be acting in ways that are emotionally and physically harmful will have to make up in his mind to leave the relationship. Here's what you need to know to determine whether you have a relationship with a woman who is potentially abusive.
Is she someone who is jealous and possessive toward you, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, and will not accept breaking up?
Calls you names, insults you or puts you down.
Destroys your property.
Does she try to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, doesn't take your opinion seriously? She will also show this belittling kind of behavior in the public without remorse.
Is she scary? Do you worry about how this person will react to things you say or do?
Does she threaten you, use or own weapons?
Is she violent? Does she have a history of fighting, losing her temper, bragging about mistreating others? For instance, when she handles conflict there is always drama, “I pulled over the car, got out and kicked her a*#! No one messes with me or my man!”
Pressures you for sex, is forceful or scary about sex? Thinks that men or boys are sex objects, attempts to manipulate or guilt-trip you by saying, “If you really loved me, you would...” or gets too serious about the relationship too fast? Some of her ideas for lovemaking are so strange that you would be embarrassed to tell a friend.
Does she abuse drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them? For example, she isn't just drinking socially, she is getting drunk and she isn't just using recreational drugs on holidays, but every day is a holiday.
Does she blame you when you are mistreated? Says you provoked it? For instance, she purposely does something to cause you to become ill or harmed; then tells you that she wouldn't have to do these things if you would just treat her right.
She has a history of bad relationships, and blames the other person for all the problems. She talks about her ex-boyfriends and the negative things they did to her, but never shares information about where she went wrong in the relationship.
She believes that women should be in control and powerful and that men should be passive and submissive. She may have felt powerless growing up. She may have witnessed her father mistreat her mother or have been abused by a past boyfriend. These may be reasons why she feels this way.
She has grabbed, hit, pushed, choked, kicked or physically abused you.
She makes your family and friends concerned about your safety. They don't want her to come around them either.
Threatens to kill her self.
When she feels guilty for what she has done, she tries to make up with you by dressing seductively, having sex, buying you gifts, cooking, helping you with chores or errands.
Once you have determined that you have a “crazy” girlfriend and you are ready to break up, here's what you need to do:
Notify a friend or family member of your intentions to break up with her. This way if something should happen to you, your friend or family member will be able to tell the police.
If you live with her, pack up your essentials gradually and remove them from the house.
Don't have any confrontation with her without a witness. If not, she can easily set you up, by harming herself, then blaming you when the police arrive.
Avoid telling her where you will be living.
File for a restraining order or Protection From Abuse (PFA) not only at your local police station where you and she have lived, but where you will be moving.
Leave a photo of her wherever you work or spend time and tell the security officers at your employment (if you have any) about your situation and if they see her on the property to notify the police. You can also provide them with a copy of your restraining order.
