Ten Fortune Cookies from Your Wife's Divorce Attorney
Your marriage is over. Your wife has decided to divorce you. Here are ten fortune cookie sayings from your wife's divorce attorney.
- A penny saved is a penny earned. That's about all you'll have left after your wife takes you to the cleaners.
- The sun will come out tomorrow. Unfortunately, the rest of your life has a very cloudy forecast.
- You are like old faithful. In your case, it's unfaithful, and you are going to pay dearly.
- I predict that your checking account will soon be as unbalanced as your marriage
- You will no longer have to worry about redecorating the house since you will soon be living in a small flat in the inner city
- You can squeeze blood from a turnip. After we're done with you, you'll look like squash.
- If you are sweating now, wait until you see the settlement. Don't worry. Once you receive the papers, you can have a big cry in your new home out on the streets.
- The upper class never really suited you. Now you can enjoy a more frugal existence. The monastery is awaiting you.
- Your wife would like you to have these flowers. Of course they are dead, just like the feeling that you'll have after we have wiped you out.
- Think of alimony as the gift that you keep on giving
