Romance dominated your life when your love was new. You couldn't get enough and neither could she. But the honeymoon died a quick death, and the Ice Age reigns. You see her reading books on spicing up the sex, but that ain't happening. After all, roses and romance was before you had the cow. Milk's free now. Her job is easy. She just lays there. But you have to put effort into it! To hell with that. Here's how you get out of the dreaded "Spicing Up the Romance" trap.
Keep Watching Television
It never fails, right? Five minutes left in the game and she starts nagging. Compromise. Have sex where the television is. This way, you both get what you want and you get to see the ending game score too!
No Foreplay
This is a military operation. You get in and you get out! None of that messy holding afterwards. Deploy your soldiers in less than five minutes and make a tactical withdraw. If the opposing side screams foul, claim she turned you on so much it couldn't be helped. Collateral damage and compliments work together. Cash and chocolates work with this plan too.
Say Another Woman's Name
Nothing turns on a woman like screaming out someone else's name at the pivotal moment. It's a guarantee she'll be so satisfied she won't bother you with sex for a long time afterwards. Want extreme pleasure? Scream out a man's name instead. It's a showstopper.
Role Play
Let her know you want her to pretend to be that sexy model on television. Go on and on about how hot the other woman is. She'll appreciate your honesty. Better still, put a paper bag over her head with the other woman's picture on it. Women love that.
Mentioned Her Weight Gain
Nothing spreads a smile on a woman's face like the way you mention her spreading ass. Go the distance and state how it can bridge the gap between the Grand Canyon. Talk about her sagging breasts too. Again, women want your honesty.
Let the Dog Watch
The man's romance is another woman. But she won't go for the ménage a trios? Again, compromise. Let the dog watch. There is nothing more stimulating to a woman than having a big, slobbery mutt pant and sniff her where it counts! Faithful Fido won't critique your performance either. He'll always approve with his mile-long stare.
Feed the Kids Sweets Beforehand
There is nothing like the sound of screaming, crying, and fighting children in the background during the act. It is the porn music that will get her going. Be sure to feed the them sugary snacks before bedtime. It will turn the volume up and how!
Fake It
She does. So can you. How's she going to know anyway? If in doubt, spit on her back. This is an instant turn on!
With these tips, you're on your way out of the dreaded romance trap. You might also be out of the marriage or relationship trap, but that's another topic for another time.
