We have all been out somewhere where that obnoxious guy with the cheesy smile and duck strut attempts to use some one liner he heard on the man show or read off the bathroom wall Here are the worst of them and the best comebacks.
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.
Comeback: I may not be Bam Bam, but I bet I can give you a lump on the head!
If you were a hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
Comeback: Would that be under your McLame burger?
Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
Comeback: Not near as bad as when you hit planet rejection.
Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.
Comeback: “Sure” Then give them directions back to their table or wherever.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Comeback: Why? I am already beside an I…..as in ignorant.
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
Comeback: Not near as tired as when I get through running away from you.
Do you clean your clothes with Windex? Because I see myself in your pants.
Comeback: No, but you should invest in some of that Windex cause your view is seriously cloudy.
Guess what? It's your lucky day. Out of all the girls here, I picked you to talk to.
Comeback: Wow! Its your lucky day too. Out of all the ways I could embarrass you right now…..I will just walk away.
Can I buy you a drink….or do you just want the money.
Comeback: No but you can buy me a bodyguard.
Do you have a license? Because you're driving me crazy.
Comeback: Actually, I have a Psychology license, but you are too far gone. Sorry.
Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
Comeback: Sorry, Santa already has a brain on lay -a - way for you.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Comeback: No, but sure…. Just next time try to keep walking.
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
Comeback: Really I would love to screw your brains out for free, but……..someone beat me to it!
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
Comeback: I don't bring home strays with the mange, but the pound might take you.
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
Comeback: I'm Lactose intolerant.
Great dress. My floor has been wanting one just like that.
Comeback: Maybe you should run to Macy's and take care of that.
Screw me if I am wrong, but is your name Gertrude?
Comeback: How did you know? Do I know you? OR Yeah, but I don't talk to strangers.
You might as well sleep with me, I'll tell my friends you did anyway.
Comeback: Then really the question will be who will be more embarrassed. Me for sleeping with a dud like you or you after I tell everyone you gave me herpes.
And finally here are some universal “go away” lines.
- 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
- Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity, but there is always an exception.
- I would call you a complete idiot, but some parts are obviously missing.
- Did your mother put a stop payment on your reality check?
- Save your breath you'll need it to blow up the only person you are going home with.
- Really I would love to screw your brains out, but……..someone beat me to it!
