An old woman is driving along a 2-lane roadway when she sees red and blue lights start flashing on top of the police cruiser tailing her. She pulls over and rolls her window down. An officer climbs out of the police car and pokes his head in her open window.
“Can I help you, Officer?” the old woman asks.
“Ma'am, you were speeding,” he informs her.
“Was I, now?”
“Yep. I clocked you at 20 miles over the speed limit. May I see your license, please?”
She looks puzzled. “My license? I don't have a license.”
The cop frowns. “What do you mean, "I don"t have a license'?”
“Well, Officer,” she says, “I lost it four years ago for drunk driving.”
“I see.” He pulls out a pad of paper and scribbles something down. “Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?”
“I'm sorry, Officer, but I can't do that.”
“Why not?”
“I stole this car.”
He gawks at the old woman. “What?”
“I stole the car, after I killed the owner.”
The policeman is shocked. The old woman leans toward him and whispers, “His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk, if you want to see.”
The cop stares at the woman and slowly backs away to his car to call for backup. Within minutes, 5 police cruisers circle the old woman's vehicle. The regional police chief slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun. He shouts into the open window from a fair distance away, “Ma'am, step out of the vehicle immediately!”
The old woman steps out of the car. “Is there a problem here, Officer?”
“One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”
She laughs. “Murdered the owner?” she repeats incredulously.
“Yes. Could you open the trunk of this vehicle, please?”
The old woman opens the trunk with her keys. The chief braces himself for a gruesome sight, but the trunk is empty.
“Is this your vehicle, Ma'am?” he asks, still staring at the empty trunk.
“Of course it is,” she replies, rifling through her large handbag. She pulls out a number of papers. “Here's my proof of registration, and my driver's license.”
The police chief is completely bewildered. “I'm sorry about this, Ma'am. My officer told me that you had no license, had stolen this car and had murdered the owner!”
The old woman chuckled. “Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.”
