Movie sequels are always being made and, let's face it, with only a few exceptions, like “The Godfather II” and “Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back”, they are not as good as the original. (Or, do I have to invite you over to my house to watch “Cannonball Run 3?”)
In addition to sequels, Hollywood is also under the impression that we want to see old television shows brought to the big screen. (I can't wait to see “Moesha” in my neighborhood theater.)
But getting back to sequels, now they are waiting years, even decades, before making the sequel, like the latest Rocky, Rambo and Indiana Jones adventures. Sometimes waiting too long to produce a sequel could only prove disastrous results. That is why, as the self appointed ambassador of Good Entertainment, I've come up with a list of movies, I think we all would like to avoid. I mean, would you honestly shell out your hard earned money to see:
Sex and the City - Senior Citizen Style
How's that for alliteration? The girls all meet for Cosmopolitans and discuss ED, who Samantha thinks is the hot, new box boy at the neighborhood D'Agostinos.
Indiana Jones and the Secret Black Hole
Indie goes for a prostate exam.
High School Musical 17
Songs include: “The Way You Do The Things You Do With Colace” and “Assisted Living In The City.”
Rocky XX
Rocky's latest fight is with filling out the forms for Medicare Part 6.
Friends Reunion
Ross, Joey, Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe all agree to meet at Central Perk to reminisce, but only two remember where it is.
Get Smart, Again
Max realizes that 99 is really her age.
Rambo XIII
Rambo battles revolutionaries, insurgents, and peeing three times a night.
Charlie's Angels: 30 Years Later
Our three heroines have a fight, at a local K-Mart, over the last pair of “Granny” panties.
Star Trek CMXCVII
William Shatner returns as Captain Kirk, commander of the Enterprise, as he passes Mars, Jupiter and a kidney stone.
Harry Potter and the Final Adventure in Vardenafil
Harry gets angry, while visiting the Social Security Office and can't find a handicapped parking space for his flying broom.
So, there you have it; definitely ten movies that should not be made. The really scary thing is that there is a rumor someone is planning on making “Ishtar 2.” You've been warned.
