20 Holiday Gifts You Do Not Want to Receive

Twenty Holiday Gifts You Do Not Want To Receive

It's time to open your Christmas presents. You're feeling just grand until you open the gift that you never wanted to receive. Here are twenty holiday gifts that will really sour your spirit:

1. A gift pack of Old Spice aftershave and cologne. Enough Old Spice already. You've been getting this gift for five years and each package is collecting dust.
2. A gift basket of Spam. What in the world were you thinking? It may look pretty but it's still Spam.
3. His and her deodorant. Are you trying to send a message? For this you get a lump of coal next year.
4. A package of designer condoms. Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. The only one that is not laughing is you.
5. A ten-pound chocolate Santa. Now you're getting absurd. Santa was never meant to be a ten-pound chunk of chocolate.
6. A Teletubbies necktie. This will really knock them dead at the bailout hearings in Congress.
7. A year's supply of condiments. Just what you always wanted. NOT!
8. A How to Book on dieting. You've just lost fifty pounds this year. Are you supposed to look like a stick?
9. A gift pack of artificial cheese flavors. For the last time, standing in the return line is not fun.
10. A coffee mug set with John McCain and Sarah Palin on both mugs. Someone is recycling their gift and giving it to you. And you voted for Barack Obama.
11. Two packages of diapers. This could really come in handy except for the fact that your son is now twelve years old.
12. A talking Rosie O'Donnell doll. Even if you remove the batteries, she's still talking.
13. Two tickets to a future Detroit Lions game. Oh the pain and the agony.
14. A book on how you can make a million dollars in the new bailout game
15. A handcrafted doll of Ann Coulter with her mouth shut. On second hand, this would make a cool novelty gift.
16. A Kung Fu Barbie. I think that your son wanted a Kung Fu Panda.
17. A children's tea set that has just been recalled. I believe that the warning “This toy contains an unacceptable level of lead” is a dead giveaway.
18. A six pack of Barbie and Ken underwear
19. A fruitcake made up of prunes. The relief that you get from this gift will be short lived.
20. A Britney Spears beach volleyball. I guess this is one way to spike an opponent.