Funny Engrish T-shirts

"Engrish" in the Urban Dictionary is defined as: "the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design.  Often, but not only in Japan, and all around the world."  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=engrish.  Sometimes the translations overly-literal, word by word translations or just very grammatically flawed.  I personally think that some of the translators understand some of their mistakes but do it anyways because it's funny.

I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to speak two languages, even if it was very poorly.  I only speak English and have difficulties with just that at times.  Our culture too likes to use Foreign phrases as decoration on clothing.  One can only imagine what they actually say.  I bet people in Japan and beyond make fun of what's on our t-shirts.  Or worse, make fun of what our tattoos actually say!

This shirt reads: "Have hope, and Proceed.  It will be opened certainly tomorrow.  Bachelorsdeg 1684 a learned society investigation discovery!!  Tomorrow begins to run if a sword is held to the lightning of the sky and the light of hope is collected.  Anyone keeps wandering during the trip of the far maze.  It keeps walking in search of the exit which can't be seen yet."

Sounds very Spock-like.  "Have Hope and Proceed" vs. "Live Long and Prosper".  I'm not sure what exactly is going to be opened tomorrow.  I guess the exit to the maze after the light of hope is collected?

This one reads:"Research on ways of usage.  Sincerity is the Key.  How dose it feel to use?  I'm already using it to the necessity to us habit-forming."

I'm not sure exactly what they're researching the ways of usage of.  Maybe ways to pick up girls?  Sincerity is the key to that.  I guess you need medication to use it to be dosed with.  And the medication is habit-forming.  Sounds good to me.

This reads:  "Hollywood Masters Forest 32th Indies Natural.  Funky Gangs."

I'm not sure which one is funnier -- the 32th part or the Funky Gangs part.  I guess they like the look of sports shirts but just can't understand what exactly they say.

This reads:  "Take good care of uterus". 

You weren't mistaken.  I have no idea what the original intention of this shirt could have been.  But it is funny.  Very funny.  And the owner seems really proud of it.

This one reads: "Do you eat me??" 

I'm assuming they mean the ice cream, not the person.  Maybe they're trying to pick up cannibals and the ice cream is only there as a lure.

This reads: "It is only of reative funny." 

I beg to differ.  This shirt is more than relatively funny.  It's just plain funny.  Really, really funny.

This reads: "NY don't heart U." 

Ouch.  They're a little less than subtle on this one.  I bet this one would actually be really popular in New York!

This one reads: "Dlahonds ard girls hpst fridnd". 

I guess the only word they actually knew was girls.  Which isn't a bad word to know.  Much funnier than Diamonds are a girls best friend.

This one reads: "Levitation.  Heart.  Just Listen.  Since 1925.  Please try to take it easy.  I would never stab you." 

It's all fine until the stabbing part!  This is one of the ones that make me wonder if some of the "mistakes" are more purposeful than we would think.  Completely hysterical.  There's no way I could take it easy if I was having a conversation with this person.  If they have to have it written on their shirt that they would never stab you, then there's probably some very serious issues happening.

This reads:  "Peaceful since 1980."

Before that, there was absolute chaos!  I wonder what happened in 1980?  Maybe they wore the previous t-shirt about not stabbing you before 1980.

This reads:  "Fruit.  If it eats the fruit, it becomes very energetic."

Fruit is good for you.  Sure.  I'm not sure I'd phrase it this way exactly though.  Maybe the kids wearing the next shirt just ate a bunch of fruit.

This reads:  "Boisterous Laughter.  Gutsy team that shows a lot of spunk.  Amusing."

All of the text on this shirt is funny.  I especially like that it's actually marked as "Amusing".  That it is.

This reads:  "Lacked have to life in me when such a thing."

Maybe lonely people should wear this shirt.  Or suicidal ones.  I'm not sure.

This one reads simply:  "Bounce with anger".

I love it.  I'd totally wear this shirt.  It's somewhere between making sense and not making sense.  Makes readers wonder just what you're thinking!

This sweat shirt reads:  "1956 Hello Moosc Cluo".

What?  You don't think this was licensed by Disney?  Do they have knock offs in Japan???

This reads:  "Everytime the light keeps shining on me.  Otherwise you can bearly see."

Okay, this probably doesn't have it's proper licensing agreement either.  It is definitely my favourite though and is #1 on my Christmas list this year.  If anyone knows where I could get it...  It's a rip off of the Grateful Dead's song Truckin'.  The actual lyrics go "Sometimes the lights all shining on me.  Other times, I can barely see."  The next two lines of the song are a perfect conclusion for this article.  "Lately it occurs to me, what a long strange trip it's been."