A little soap and water never killed anyone!
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How those words resonate down the years! It has to be said though, that mothers do teach you to appreciate that if you are going to do it, you do it well. Wasn't she the one who told you that if you really had to kill your brother, then to do it outside because she had just finished the cleaning? Thought so!
Cupcakes are NOT a breakfast food
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Yes, they teach you how to eat properly - and sometimes even how to cook. One of the more important things that mothers do is teach you all about religion. Do you not remember her saying “You had better pray that will come out of my new carpet”? Ah, memories!
Psst! Did you flush?
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She takes you to all the Disney films but then slips in to the conversation when you are an adult that it was a major deciding factor in having children. At least with animation you get to learn about the circle of life. Sometimes learning from the silver screen is better than being told that they brought you in to this world and they can sure as hell take you out of it again! Then there's behavior modification: how many times were you told to stop acting like your father?
I don't care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing!
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Life sometimes teaches you hard lessons and quite often these lessons come from mom! What the lady down the road allows her children to do is most certainly not what you are allowed to do. If only there was a text book to teach parents how to be more laid back and cool. Mothers also teach you about the crime that is hypocrisy. “Do not exaggerate! Haven't I told you that a million times?” Remember that one, huh?
You can go out to play...after you brush your teeth and comb your hair.
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How many millions of kids in the world didn't have a wonderful mother like yours? How many times were you reminded of us. Another lesson, that of envy! As for the “eat up, there are starving children in Africa” ploy, don't even go there!
Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident
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Oh yes, be prepared! That is the motto of the day, every day - despite the fact you have as much chance getting an A grade at school than getting knocked over by a car. Anticipation of things that never happen, though, is far better than anticipation of things that will. Those six scary words still cause fear. Wait. Till. Your. Father. Gets. Home.
A little "birdy" told me
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Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been 
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The birds and the bees come up in conversation and it is the mother's duty to let the kids know where they came from. Most were, apparently, born in barns. They also teach us the basics of that noble science, genetics. How many times were you told that you were just like your father? And so ended the lesson!
I don't buy snacks to feed the neighborhood
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Humor! Mothers have to have it to get through the day and they make sure that they pass this down to their offspring. Who can forget the immortal line “When your toes get cut off by that lawn mower, then don't come running to me!” Then there is the similarly unforgettable line “Here, take the scissors, go running with them! But don't come running to me when you stab yourself through the heart!” Ah, memories are made of such stuff!
If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (eyebrows, tongue, etc.) He would have put them there! 
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Ah! The wisdom of motherhood! When you get to my age they say, you will understand why I am doing this. So we wait and we still don't understand. Then we wait some more. You get the picture. Finally, she turns to you and tells you with a murderous glance that she hopes that one day, when you have kids, that they turn out to be just like you. And guess what? That's exactly what happens and you turn in to your mother!
