Are you serious? I can make my own Communist? Oh my goodness. My dreams have come true. Except that I wanted to be able to make my own Supermodel in my dreams… so I guess they haven't really come true. But it's worth noting that you can make the communist as sexy as you want. Castro? Meeeoow.
Just one word comes to mind when I see the Super Grover Action Figure. Pedophile. His long overcoat says “I have something to hide, but I think you should see it”. And the glasses scream, “Don't look at my face, what you want is below the belt”. The hat echoes this same sentiment. I realize that Grover is supposed to be a Super Hero, but come one. This “action figure” isn't going to help people out in any way shape or form. If anything, children will think that people dressed in trench coats hanging out around telephone booths should be run to in case of emergency. And I think we all know those people aren't going to be Super Man.
There are many reasons why this toy is disturbing. The fact that they filed it under toy is one concern. Let me set the record straight first though. This is a fake detector camera. But like I said, it is considered a toy. I can see a lot of good uses for this. Put it in your kids room and tell them that god is always watching. Or stick it in your car, when someone barrows it, I guarantee they'll freak. But if you put this in the hands of a kid, I can only imagine. Lets say your teenager gets a hold of this. He puts it in the bathroom at school. His friends report a camera in the bathroom. They take pictures as proof, head down to the office, complain about it. The principal comes back to the bathroom, looks in, but no camera. What now? Oh, nothing except for the fact that you kid is suing the school. What's that? You're afraid? So am I, but only because god is watching me right now… from the camera… *whimper*…
And finally, the toy that started it all....
I was at my local supermarket, when I decided that I was in need of some cereal. No big deal, I'll just head on down to the aisle. “What do I want” I think to myself, “Ooh, know, I'll get some Lucky Charms, that'll be delicious. So I put them in my cart and am on my way. I get home. Put them in my cupboard, and forget about them. The next morning, I awake and head towards my cupboard. I open the cereal box, and open the bag. I grab myself a bowel, and commence pouring the cereal into the bowel. I hear a *clank* as something falls into the bowel. I pick it up, and find this thing staring back at me.
What the…? What's this? I grab the box, look on the back and find that this is a special edition box of cereal. It is advertising The Dark Knight. I was slightly happy, like “Yay, The Dark Knight is coming out soon” happy. But I was also “Wow, this is the Joker who is a murderous psychopath, in a box of lucky charms” worried. It turns out that he has kung-fu kick action, which is why his leg is slightly up. I don't know why his hands are on his head, but I believe he is attempting to crush himself out of existence. I don't know who came up with this toy, but it is a very creepy piece of movie paraphernalia. I've seen the commercial, in the movie, he walks down the street firing a machine gun at anyone and everything. Close examination reveals that he even has the scars on either side of his mouth that show where he was cut. Now before you write this off as not too bad, let me remind you really quick, this is a psychopath serial killer, who is the villain in what is most likely one of the most violent comic book movies ever, in a cereal box. Cereal that your kids eat. Be afraid. Very afraid.
So, to sums things up. The world is a weird place. There's always gonna be things that will make you want to vomit. You may wish that these things weren't toys, but that's your problem. I leave you with one more toy, one that you can cuddle up with in bed. Have fun.
