This is a list of political promises that will never be kept. Find out the real meaning behind the promises.
I will not raise your taxes. (I will raise service fees. I will increase license fees. I'll increase penalties and fines.).
I will balance the budget. (I'm not saying which budget. Certainly you don't expect me to balance the federal budget. Are you crazy? It can't be done!)
I will bring our troops home. (We'll give them two week leave and then send them off to Iraq and Afghanistan again.).
I will protect social security. (I'm going to push for private investments. Just think of how well you would do in the stock market today. On second thought, cancel that suggestion.).
I will stop Global Warming. (I'll just sign a document that says Global Warming no longer exists. Mother Nature would not dare to take on the President of the United States.).
I will protect our borders from illegal aliens. (We'll offer each illegal alien a free gift certificate to McDonalds if they go back home.).
I will provide health insurance for each citizen in our country. (Your premiums will be in the thousands, but who really needs to know the details.).
I will end the recession. (I'll bring on the depression instead. Half our budget will go to faith based charities.).
I will see that my administration follows the highest ethical standards. (We'll just get more sophisticated in our fraudulent behavior.).
I will make sure that our country is ready for another major Hurricane. (We have loads of sandbags and duct tape in our warehouse. Unfortunately, our National Guard is a little pre-occupied in Iraq at the moment.)
