While we might think of our early New England forebears as prim and proper, they experienced entirely human moments of indiscretion, too. Early New England court records show that insults were part of the 17th-century lexicon.
If you're looking to hurl historically accurate offensive remarks around your Thanksgiving table-or just looking to make conversation-here are 10 authentic Colonial affronts to consider:
People of the 21st century love their canine companions.
To call someone "a dog" today usually amounts to no more than good-natured, sexually charged ribbing-unless the term is meant to describe someone's looks. In 17th-century New England, however, to call someone a dog was an insult of the highest order. Dogs were believed to be used by sorceresses to carry out their evil commands.The Devil was not a particularly popular figure in Puritan New England, so to call someone "a devil" was a supreme insult.
"You devil, you," would not be a Puritan's idea of good humor.A witch was someone (usually a woman) thought to be doing the devil's work.
"Virtually everyone in the 17th-century believed in witchcraft," says Massachusetts lawyer and historian Diane Rapaport. "They believed the Devil recruited people to do evil deeds." To call a woman "a witch" was to risk her life. Nineteen men and women accused of practicing witchcraft died during the infamous Salem witch trials of 1692.To call one's mother a "sow" or one's father an "ape," as John Porter Jr. did in 17th-century Massachusetts, was a crime punishable by death.
In fact, one could be put to death for merely disobeying one's parents. Porter was spared execution, however, because his mother pleaded for mercy on his behalf.To call a man a "dryboots" was to call him sterile.
According to Growing Up Male in Colonial New England by Anne S. Lombard, a wife who failed to become pregnant might resort to calling her husband a "dryboots" or any other of the following demeaning names: a fumbler, Goodman Do-little or John Cannot.To call someone "a rogue," on the other hand-a term that implied promiscuity, drunkenness and deceit-was also insulting.
"Rogue was one of the worst things you could call someone," Rapaport notes.To damage a person's hat or wig intentionally was considered highly offensive.
To spit on one's hand and rub the wet fingers across the face of another was as off-putting in the 17th century as it would be today.
"I will take you by your eyelids and make your heels strike fire!" was a genuine threat used by a highway robber in 17th-century New England
...according to Rapaport's book, The Naked Quaker.To call a fellow Puritan "a Quaker" would have been insulting indeed.
Quakers were outlawed in early New England, which is why they sometimes resorted to public nudity "to protest the spiritual nakedness of their persecutors." To add insult to injury, they were usually publicly whipped for this offense.
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