Don`t bother looking for a hot dog vendor in most Asian cities. Instead, find a street vendor, select your squid and it will be freshly grilled for you...on a stick. Can anyone tell me where I can find a McDonald's?

Pizza On A Stick

These treats found at Toronto`s C.N.E. give new meaning to "think outside the box" Slices of pizza are deep fried on a stick. I`d try one of these if there was a paramedic close by.

Cheesecake On A Stick

Move over BaskinRobbins These are actual slices of cheesecake, dipped in chocolate and then frozen. If I absolutely had to eat something frozen on a stick: this would be it.

Pancake and Sausage On A Stick

Perfect for those lazy weekend mornings when you can`t stand the thought of trekking all the way to the IHOP or the local Denny`s for breakfast, Jimmy Dean has just what you need. Frozen pancakes and sausage on a stick. No tray required. Do people really buy this stuff?

Fish On A Stick

Holy Mackerel! Now those are what I call fish sticks!! Just select your fish and your choice of beverage from one of these Japanese street vendors and you`re good to go. I wonder what the response would be if these were served in school cafeterias instead of traditional fish sticks?

Deep Fried Snickers Bar On A Stick

Yes, you read correctly. Deep Fried Snickers Bars! As the only living human that does not like chocolate, I just can`t figure this one out. I can feel my arteries hardening just thinking about it.

Deep Fried Cheese On A Stick

This is where my knees get weak. Cheese on a stick. Food doesn`t get any better than that! I live a long way from Cedar Point Park, and I hate crowds but I would go there just to eat this cheese on a stick.

The training of your human being is if utmost importance. Once you've decided to adopt one, remember, it's not just for Christmas; it's for life or until you decide to replace it.

But you've already made the decision or otherwise you wouldn't still be reading. I won't discourage you. It's a decision many of us cats have made and for the most part it's a logical choice.

What sort of human should you adopt?

Humans are generally among the most stubborn of animals and their characters rarely change over the years. Stubbornness is a form of mental deficiency and is a sign of weak intelligence. If you have the opportunity, observe your target for an extended period before taking the plunge.

They seem to have some kind of obsession with seven. Do they do the same things over a seven day period? Cut the grass and then cut it again seven days later? Send the children out for the day five days a week and let them stay home for the other two? You've found a stubborn one. Try to find a more flexible one. We make a lot of investment in our humans, sometimes even giving up a life or two so finding an accommodating one is of paramount importance.

Observe how they act towards their children. Do they spoil them? Spoiling is a good sign. They will think of you as an extra child and will spoil you too.

But how do the children react towards cats? Do they chase them, annoy them, disturb them, wake them up from a well-deserved sleep? Watch the children carefully since some of them cannot differentiate cats from their toys. Humans, especially children, have a rather low level of intelligence.

What sort of accommodation will they provide you? Look for big. Big is good; it provides more places, such as dark cupboards, where you can retreat from bothersome attentions.

Look for a walled garden. Walled gardens are good. They keep dogs out.

Do they have a dog? or even worse, multiple dogs? Dogs are not good. They can be manipulative to your disadvantage. However, an old, lazy, fat one can be a useful asset. They often fail to finish all their food and this can supply a useful source of additional nourishment for snacks between meals. They can also keep other dogs away.

Do they have trees? Trees are good too. They provide an exciting alternative to ground-level viewpoints. You can survey your territory well from a tree and trees often house birds and other small creatures to supplement your diet.

Now comes the tricky part. You must, absolutely must, train your human. We are supplied by nature with the tools to do this; it's almost as if humans were created specifically to suit our assets.

Our main tools are our enormous vocal range, our purr, our claws, our persistence, our soft, seductive fur, our expressive tails, our gentle, staid and dignified locomotion and our rough tongues. Let's examine these assets in detail and learn how to use them to best advantage.

Vocal range

An extremely useful sound is the "chirp". You all know what I mean. When a human does something that pleases you, reward it with a chirp. You've been presented with your favourite food? Chirp. It's what's called positive reinforcement. They adore the sound and will learn over time to modify their behaviour so they can earn a chirp.

On the other hand, if they attempt to wash or bathe you, you need to punish this action severely with the howl. Accompany it with generous use of claws and persistence. This is called negative reinforcement. Make it sound like you're being murdered. They will be shamed when their neighbours start staring at their house, wondering whether to report them to the animal welfare authorities.Humans seem to be under the impression that bathing is good for you. As I said before they lack intelligence in certain areas. They need to wash because they have no fur to keep the dirt away from their skin. All we need is an occasional few minutes pleasurably licking our various body parts.

You've just woken up from a well-deserved sleep and you're hungry? Miaow plaintively. Not just once, do it again and again until they've learned that it means you need food. Not later; NOW. When they eventually get the message (and they will, oh yes, they will!) they will start to understand what their priorities should be.

Purring

Whilst a chirp is an instant reward for a job well done, it is short-lasting. If you need extensive attention, such as a warm lap, head-scratching and rubbing under the chin then you need to purr. Humans haven't yet worked out how we do it, how we make the sound, how we can purr and eat at the same time. We'll let them keep on guessing. But they seem to enjoy the purr and it is one of their major aims in life to get you to purr. Use it wisely; don't waste it on minor occasions.

Claws

Humans don't like to be clawed. This is probably because they have no fur and scratching opens up the skin and lets their blood out. Be particularly careful not to claw their children too much. It leaves evidence that can hardly be denied. However, it's a useful occasional reminder of our power to inflict pain and discomfort. Use it wisely because too much of this can lead to your being evicted from your own home and then you have the bother of locating another.

Persistence

It takes persistence to train humans because they are so obstinate themselves. You have to overcome their obstinacy with your persistence. Reward and punish again and again and again. They will learn in the end.

Fur

There's not much you can do to change the fur you were born with but fur is a wonderful tool in training humans. Use it to rub yourself against them as a reward for a job particularly well done or to make them feel guilty that you are pleasuring them while they're not reciprocating.

Tails

Whereas dogs seem to spend their lives stupidly wagging their tails at every opportunity and wasting energy even when nothing good is happening, our own tails are "THE WARNING". Humans have come to recognise this over the years and, if used intelligently and selectively, the flick of a tail lets them know in advance that you disapprove of their current actions on this occasion and these will eventually lead to clawing and howling. An example is when children want to play with you and you just want to eat or sleep. A few minutes of tail-flicking will warn them that worse is to follow.

Locomotion

Whereas dogs prance around looking like clowns, we cats have dignity. Humans appreciate dignity. Walk in a dignified manner at all times; it exudes power and intelligence. It reminds them that we are closely related to tigers, who can stalk humans easily and even eat a whole one with little effort.

Tongues

For some reason, humans like the feel of our rough tongues on their bare skin. Our research hasn't arrived at a conclusive reason for this but it might be due to the fact that it's the single most effective way of removing an itch. They seem to be unaware that we are actually tasting them. Their naked skin exudes valuable salts and we can take advantage of this to supplement the minerals in our diets.

Well, there you have it in a nutshell. I hope you'll bear all these tips in mind and enjoy your life with your new human.

Thanks for the warning! You just saved some of us a trip to the emergency room.

I’m not 100% certain, but you might want to think about bringing your own chair if you want to eat at this restaurant. And you might want to use the bathroom before you come!

Honey, could you take my automatic rifle back to the car? The sign said it’s not allowed. Apparently there is nothing allowed past this point!

Apparently the cop never took the time to read this sign, because he’s still sitting there! He’s going to make a good detective someday, because of his attention to details!

A universal sign for bus stops, park benches and restrooms, if I had these signs. I wonder if the designer of this sign is a comedian on his days off!

This could prove to come in handy on those busy nights at the local bar! Two beers or less means more frequent trips to the bathroom and some people are just too lazy for that. Am I right gentlemen?

If you’ve drank enough beer to where you had to use a lift, then I’m sure that is a sign that you don’t need anymore to drink!

Mmm! Sounds enticing, doesn’t it?

I’m just speechless! I have to go get a tissue to dry my tears of joy!

They were talking about the golf balls, weren’t they?

Parents beware! I do believe they actually mean it!

Wouldn’t it be amazing if dogs actually responded to this sign?

Here is your advertising dollars at work!

It goes to show you that creativity knows no boundaries, so no matter how dumb you think your idea might be, just remember that there is always someone willing to pay for that so called dumb idea of yours!

The earthworm is a common creature that lives under the soil. Their oft-common names include ”rain worm”, “night crawler”, dew-worm” and “angleworm,” the latter owing to its common use as fishing (angling) bait.

The body of the earthworm is basically a muscular system in the form of a tube, which houses the digestive system on the inside as another tube running the entire length. Earthworms have two main blood vessels that extend the length of the creature, with several aortic arches, -‘hearts’ basically. The number of aortic arches varies in different species of earthworms, but a common earthworm typically has five hearts.

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All earthworms take food in a unique manner; their mouths are directly connected to their digestive tract with just a small crop (storage chamber) to help grind the consumed food to a more digestible slurry. They merely swallow their food and it passes directly into the digestive system. Earthworms mostly eat decomposing matter such as leaves, plant clipping and other plant material. Other varieties of worms are more 'geophagous.' That is, they eat soil or earthy loam-like dirt in a manner similar to “pica” in order to obtain nutrients. “Pica” is generally classified as an eating disorder in advanced animals, defined as a craving for and ingestion of non-food items.

What Do Earthworms Do?

Earthworms improve soil quality by their tunneling and removal of decaying matter from the surface. Aeration of the soil and their tunneling improve soil quality and rain penetration. This tunneling reduces erosion as the rainwater can soak into the rooting levels of plants instead of merely running-off, carrying topsoil away with it. Plant roots can more easily propagate through soils previous burrowed by worms, thus allowing plants to infiltrate new territory quicker than surface-level propagation. Soil that has been worked by earthworms has a more stable ‘crumb-like’ quality, also making it less likely to just blow away in wind erosion as well.

Material cycling is an important function of earthworms; for instance, they remove waste that is spread upon the surface of fields. As a normal process of waste removal in some municipalities, earthworms move this product that is spread upon fields to deep underground to be used by trees and plants.. –Liquefied sludge slurry from Waste Treatment Facilities in some municipalities is sprayed upon farmer’s fields and earthworms do the chore of getting it buried. Days or weeks later, this process can be repeated. The Waste Treatment Facility benefits are it removes heavy bottom-sludge from their collecting ponds, and the farmer benefits as this is good fertilizer for their fields.

Life would be radically different here on the planet if it weren’t for these very useful and mostly unseen creatures!

Are Earthworms All Good and Beneficial?

For the most part, yes. Earthworms are a sign of healthy soil. A soil devoid of earthworms tends to mean that the soil is bad, overly acidic or heavily polluted.

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The Good, The Bad and The So-So

Some earthworms have a few bad qualities. Introduced species of earthworms can compete with local indigenous species. Most introduced species here came from Europe for whatever reasons, probably foreigners wishing for familiar creatures in their new chosen land. In western Canada for instance, a type of introduced earthworm deposits hardpan clay-rich soils from deep underground to the surface, which makes managing gardens, golf courses and personal lawns troublesome. The indigenous specie of worms do not do this, as they don't tunnel as deep. The local worms are more beneficial for that region than the invasive newcomers.

Other earthworms, like the Red Worm (Eisenia fetida), coexist with indigenous worms and even thrive in soils that are too acidic for other native species of earthworms, like decomposing manure piles. Red Worms are not as long as the common earthworm, and they can withstand a greater range of temperatures along with short-term drier conditions. They can be kept alive for quite some time in smaller ‘bait boxes’ while using them as bait for fishing. They are more ‘energetic‘ on the fisherman’s fishhook. They continue to wiggle for a longer period of time than do normal worms, making them a favorite with fishermen. Fish seem to strike faster and harder on an 'active wiggler.' Able to withstand a greater range of temperature favors Red Worms for raising then in breeder boxes both indoors as well as outdoors. Avid fishermen, reptile and amphibian hobbyists often raise their own Red Worms to supplement their sport, avocation or their pet’s diet.

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Worldwide, there are over three thousand species of earthworms, but only a small number of species are indigenous to Ontario, CANADA where yours truly currently lives. Hermaphrodites, -it can be said that earthworms really only have one gender. But it still requires two worms to mate as there is an exchange of gametes. They are egg layers, which are cast-off in cocoons that form in a skin sac that forms around their bodies. When it is ready to be shed, they ‘back out of’ the subsequent ring cocoon, which is shaped a little bit like a lemon. The baby worms are born fully developed and ready to begin their life.

Adult worms lay between twenty to forty cocoon sacs per year and while it takes less than one year to reach maturity, some earthworms can live for up to an incredible nine years!

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Back in New York when I was a teenager, we kids in town used to collect earthworms at night to sell to a local bait shop for 30-cents per dozen. He would take all we could bring in, anytime, all the time. It was good, easy money for us kids. An hour or two of working on a good evening could earn a ten or fifteen dollar reward. The most I ever picked up in one night, -and it was a perfect night for it, -moonless, windless, humid and slightly foggy, was 117-dozen earthworms! I filled a 3-gallon mop pail level full, all earthworms! It took me several hours that perfect night, -four or five hours with frequent breaks as I recall, but it was an easy $35.00 which was ‘big money’ to a teenage still in high school.

A Cash Crop of Earthworms?

A few years ago here in the west end of Toronto, a local Polish newspaper advertised for ‘laborers’ to convene for mass worm hunts. A group affair, you go with this group to golf courses or wherever to pick up nightcrawlers, work for as long as you want, and they bought the worms you gathered for ten cents apiece! Okay, wow…I would go do that! To put that into perspective, that 117 dozen worms I gathered that one night would be worth $140.40! But you might wonder, -is an earthworm worm worth 10-cents apiece? And to whom would this be worth? Well, in the summertime fishermen along Lake Ontario here in Toronto will buy little bait boxes of worms for 25-cents per worm! I must assume that some enterprising soul was re-selling this en-masse to Fishing Clubs, Yachtsmen/Boating Clubs and possibly even directly to fishermen along the shoreline at fishing time. Somebody was making a profit.

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Earthworms have been one essential ingredient in Chinese, Korean and Vietnamese medicines for thousands of years, used along with various herbal remedies specifically, one called “Lumbricus Tonic”

Some of the purported usages of this remedy were to;

‘…improve the tone of the sympathetic and the parasympathetic functions of the central nervous system’ and also to ‘…support the digestive function of the stomach and gastrointestinal tract.’

“Lumbricus tonic” is said to have no known toxic effects, no contraindications nor any adverse interactions. -It is safe to consume.

A traditional medicine in Vietnamese culture made from so-called “Earth Dragons” (“Earthworms”) has the grandiose title of “Miracle Medicine that can save lives in 60 minutes” make similar claims. That it comes from the soil holds some special meaning as to having natural concentrated nutritional content. At any rate, this toad (above) seems to be enjoying it…

And Let's Not Forget...

Hey, -it's mostly protein! But don't even get me started on that old "sodium erythorbate" in hot dog wieners/frankfurters is really "salted earth-worms" urban legend. That is patently untrue. "Sodium erythorbate" is really an anti-oxidant similar to Vitamin-C, and it is made from SUGAR, not worms.

However...

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Chow down, boys! That’s just yucky right there!

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This is a close-up of a' bone bell', showing the hollow which extends through the base of each bell. These bells contain the bulk of the human remains within Sedlec Ossuary. The bells sit in each corner of the ossuary, a testament to mass human suffering.

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This is a close-up of one of the many skull and cross bones within the ossuary.

The History of Sedlec Ossuary

In 1278, Abbot Henry of the Cistercian Monastery in Sedlec was sent to Palestine, considered by the Catholic Church as the Holy Land. He returned with a small amount of soil from Golgotha, which he scattered over the soil of the abbey cemetery.

Because of this pious act, the graveyard soon became a popular burial ground for central Europeans.

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A chalice made from human bones stands on a pedestal in Sedlec Ossuary, framed by skulls and crossed bones.

A gothic chapel was built on the grounds of the cemetery between 1282 and 1320. A large vault, or ossuary, was built to house the bones that were exhumed during the excavation process.

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A depiction of Jesus Christ on the cross is surrounded by antique bones.

In the 14th century, the black plague ravaged central Europe, leaving thousands dead. It is believed that tens of thousands of bodies found a resting place within the holy burial ground of the monastery. The chapel later suffered a massive blow after a fire burnt everything but the outer walls.

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It is claimed that this chandelier contains every bone in the human body and was made from several skeletons.

Construction continued for many years, with a new entrance being added and the upper chapel being rebuilt in the early 18th century.

In 1870, The Schwarzenberg family hired a woodcarver, František Rint, to organize the heaps of bones that had collected in the Sedlec ossuary. In an attempt to give the bones a sense of order, Rint created artistic, macabre creations with the bones.

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The Schwarzenberg family coat of arms; created by Rint to honor his commisioners.

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Detail of the Schwarzenberg family coat of arms.

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Some of Rint's creations are inexplicable. It is said that he attempted to portray the inevitability of mortality through his work.

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Rint's creativity is apparent in this creation in which he has used a cracked human bone to create the bird's head.

Sedlec Ossuary in the 21st Century

The Church of Bone, situated an hour's travel outside Prague in the Czech Republic, in the province of Kutna Hora, is a popular tourist attraction that is listed in many tour guides.

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A cherubic angel sits on top of an unlikely pedestal in the church of bone.

The ossuary has been featured on "Ripley"s Believe It Or Not', and was used as a location for the Dungeons and Dragons movie. Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman visited the church in their documentary, "Long Way Round".

Click here for a 360° view of the Sedlec Ossuary. 

Doors are symbols of opportunity and change.  The unknown lies behind each door, just waiting for discovery.  The doors themselves can be objects of art and can help to add color and flair to the most boring existence.  These doors show how the ordinary can become extraordinary.

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These beautiful, scrolled iron work doors add charm and elegance to an otherwise, pink entranceway.  They are gorgeous while still creating an extra layer between inside and outside.

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These doors themselves are painted plain white but the entranceway around it is a colorful and beautiful expression of creativity in mosaic.  This entrance is anything but ordinary.

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These mirrored, sculptural doors show a combination of what lies within and reflections of what lies outside.  These doors are so much different than anything I've ever seen before.  They seem to belong underwater almost.  It's amazing what creative heights the human mind can strive for.

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Sometimes the ordinary can become extrordinary by the repeated use of mundane objects.  This knotty wood door is dotted with bolt ends and nuts to transform it into a beautiful entrance.

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Sometimes paint is what is required to elevate a doorway into something noteworthy.  The colors and patterns in this doorway mural make it stand out.

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This airport bathroom is unlike any I've ever visited.  Besides being clean and seemingly without a giant line, the art on the stalls is outstanding!  What a great idea.

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In this instance, vivid colors are all that is required to make the doorways inviting.  These doors become works of art when placed in a world of beige and cream.

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And don't forget the van murals!  These van doors are definitely different...  Beautiful color and shading on this mural make these doors a "must-see".

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Stained glass has been a creative means of expression for many, many years.  These Tiffany style doors beckon passers by to enter and see what lies within.

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The forest on these doors allow a peak between the trees to the store within.  They offer mystery and charm instead of a mere obstacle to pass before entering.

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These doors are reminiscent of the sun and the beams of light it sends across the universe.  The copper allows for all sorts of beautiful hues.  Imagine walking through these every day...

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Religions of all kinds have beautiful art and outstanding architecture.  These doors are at the Hassan Deux Mosque.  The children playing outside allow a perspective of just how massive this doorway is.

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These doors are the entrance to Kumari Ghar.  The exquisite carvings cover the entire entrance way, culminating in the arch over the door of many different gods and religious symbols.

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These beautiful doors at Grace Church images depict Christ's life.  These huge doors are a statement to both believers and non believers alike.

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Sometimes the beauty needs to be searched out.  These door hinges on a craftsman style home are incredibly intricate and tiny.  Yet, they make an enormous difference in the artistic feel of the door way.

I've always believed that you will find what you look for.  If you look for ugliness, you will find it.  And if you look for beauty, you will find that.  These forms of everyday art can be used as inspiration to continue searching for beauty in the ordinary.  Here are the links to my other "everyday art" articles, in case you're interested.

• Door Handles
• Art Cars
• Food Art
• Lego
• Chairs
• Garbage Cans

God hasn't been keeping me up to date with events very well because I've only just heard that Seth got married recently and had a son called Enosh. God hadn't told me about any other women being around Adam and Eve's place except those he must have made in the land of Nod and since Seth's still living with his mum and dad he must have married one of his sisters! God didn't tell me about those either - only interested in male children really. I suppose it's all right to marry his sister in the circumstances though it seems a little strange to me. But then, if there are no spare women, what other choice would he have?

Enosh is very different from Seth when he was a baby. Much prettier and he had a tooth growing already when he popped out.

By the way, since I last wrote to you I've made four hundred and thirteen more cardigans, fifty-five tapestries and a hundred and eighty seven pairs of socks. I've got the tapestries on the walls and they do look nice, even if I say it myself but God hasn't worn any of the cardigans or the socks and they're taking up a lot of space.

I wish he'd make me some cupboards to keep them all in. It's such a little thing to ask being as how it's so easy for him. He could say “Let there be this massive cupboard for my wife to keep her knitting in” just like that but he's got no consideration for me.

Okay, this one really freaks me out.  I have no idea what they were thinking.

When Santa and friends party, they party hard!  Somehow, I doubt that he is on the "good" list.

Santacon is when a large number of people go out to party celebrate dressed for the season.  Sometimes it can be a bit offbeat to say the least.

Somehow I don't think that I will be taking my kids to this Santa.  How to give the little ones nightmares!

Another Santa not to take the kids to!  They claim this is linked to a Christmas "speedo run".  Yes, nothing says Christmas like running in a speedo.

Some people will dress up anything for the season.  Somehow I am thinking that this is not exactly the classical idea of Santa.  Sort of a "Merry Christmas, I come bearing a probe" theme.

I love this hippy Santa.  I guess he kind of reminds me of my dad.  Yeah, scary I know.

Okay, crazy clown Santa Claus is really, really scary.  You expect him to come after you with a knife.

This guy has a pretty evil and scary look, and I love the warning "I move" pinned onto him.  Imagine trying to walk by and having him suddenly start moving around.  I wounder how many heart attacks he caused before they put the sign up?

Ah yes, Santa creeping up behind some poor kid.

I am really not sure what this guy is trying to say with this look.  Sort of a very naughty Santa look.  The whip on the belt is a nice touch.

Someone just could not let go of Halloween.  Sort of a "nightmare before Christmas" theme.

I guess this is why I have not seen Santa recently.  Who puts Santa's head in a case anyways?

It’s Monday morning, and you are again reminded that you are a worker drone. You work in a profession with lots of contact with the general public, so you put on your best-mannered façade. The public can be rude to you, yell at you, and you must be the friendly embodiment of company service. You yourself have virtually no personality, so that you tend to forget by midweek that you are anyone at all. Your boss is the only one entitled to have an opinion or criticism. So, all of those years of critical thinking in college have landed you a job as “the great American working stiff.”

As a working stiff, you are a puppet, more dead than alive. The world holds you intensely accountable. Who are you accountable to? You are accountable to all of the corrupt politicians, lawyers, doctors, corporate executives and the like who pull your strings. The left steals half of your earnings to house and feed crack heads, prison inmates, and the like. The right steals the other half to line their pockets, buy yachts, and build extensions to their homes. You are right in the middle, right between the legs of the beast. That’s it, you are the one getting screwed.

It’s an odd fact that the hardest-working, most patient, and fair people in our society get the shaft more than anyone else. We are nickled and dimed half to death by our puppeteers.

A little bit of color, a dash of personality in our drab lives would be refreshing. Our worlds require something more than just a Dilbert cartoon to adorn our cubicles, something more than a goofy mug in the sink that has unknowingly been spreading influenza throughout the drone empire. We need Picasso to come in and give our bosses three eyes and four ears, in blue. We need Cristo to wrap the whole freakin’ building in purple paisley satin.

Oh, yes. We also would also like the liberty to tell rude people to put it where the sun don’t shine. We’d like the freedom to tell the dolts exactly what we think of them. Without losing our jobs, that is.

And we’d like to see some accountability for our higher-ups. We like the corporate execs and the politicians to join the crack heads in prison. It wouldn’t be no resort prison, neither. It would be a full-fledged correctional facility, where you dare not drop your soap in the shower.

So, you now have some food for thought this evening as you chug down a congested highway back to your starting square. You can curl up onto that nice puffy pillow and dream of cutting the strings. The puppet is free.

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Blatz beer -- so both baby and mom are blatzed!  This beer is described as having "Nourishing qualities" and "appetizing, stimulating tonic".  Well, I'm sure everyone slept better at least!

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Cute kid.  I can't believe they'd use babies to sell cigarettes back in the day.  I'm not sure what they mean by "over-smoked" although I was a smoker for years.  Unfortunately, this Marlboro ad is just one of many cigarette ads featuring babies and kids.

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This Motorola ad is hysterical.  If you own one of their televisions, it will help kids get their homework done promptly.  And it will strengthen family bonds to sit around and watch t.v. together.  Better behavior at home (because they're zoned on the t.v.) and better marks at school (as if).  I'm sure my kids would love it if this was still how people thought!

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Wow.  This one is wrong in so many ways.  When you think of today's childhood obesity rates and how many schools have pulled pop from vending machines, this ad seems so ludicrous.  At least drinking pop will help them with "fitting in during those awkward pre-teen and teen years".  Yikes.

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Oh, and if they've had too much television and pop, I guess you'll have to order the "special" fashion book.  Lane Bryant is one of today's major "plus-sized" retailers.  I'm not sure how much business they'd get now if they called it a store for "chubbies".  Those poor girls having to order out of this fashion book.

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This weird ad seems to suggest that it's so safe even a baby could use it.  A baby could use a razor???  Begin early, shave yourself?  I have no idea what the heck they were thinking with this ad.

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This one is just plain funny.  You can't pin that smelliness on the baby -- it's Dad's bad breath!  Hysterical.

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Not sure what to get your kids for Christmas?  How about guns?  Okay, okay.  I know some people out there probably do give their kids guns.  These are apparently only BB guns (Thanks to Reader Tor for pointing that out).  Still a 7 year old with a BB gun?  I'm not so sure I want to arm my second grader.

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"Absolutely safe" and "Papa says it won't hurt us".  These people are flipping insane!!!  I like how it says these guns are not toys but show a little girl clearly playing with one.

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Cocaine toothache drops only fifteen cents.  I bet kids feel no pain when they have these!

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And if the kids didn't turn out how you wanted them too....  This ad is just hysterical.  It didn't really fit but I just had to include it based on sheer haha value.

I wonder what people 50 years from now will think of our advertising?